The Big Huge Lie – re: the ‘Doing’ of Spiritual Seeking!
Do you know what the big lie is?
I’ve been taught to believe as a spiritual seeker ….that I must purify my mind, body and heart before I can ‘earn’ peace. Peace or enlightenment must be ‘attained’ by the hard work of doing many practices and being ‘good at them’. I was taught that only a few chosen special people can become enlightened or awake and they of course were ‘perfect’ in all ways.
IS THAT TRUE?
If you think yes, then I challenge you to prove it with your own understanding and experience and not by something you heard, read or were taught. Check it out for yourself.
Parts of me still believe the lie, so I have to keep meeting those parts as they arise. Just stop believing all the thoughts! Oh my God, the freedom! It is possible?
….it feels like something becoming unplugged and all the energy tied up in a certain belief kind of explodes out quietly as I write this…. leaving JUST THIS.
Ok, obviously I haven’t stopped believing all thoughts as I am still writing…..
Been taking knitting lessons these past few weeks….. funny… as I knit and knit a sweater rather obsessively…..parts of the ‘me’ inside are unraveling…. Unraveling layers and layers …of seeking and learned survival modes of relating to life’s situations and the ways I relate with people. Some layers fall away and feel like a humungous ahhh yes! others… are like having to have a tooth pulled….. it needs to be pulled out to stop suffering, but I’m so afraid to go to the dentist!!!!
I find it interesting, though at times unsettling, to see the origins of suffering/ thoughts/feelings stuck inside of the belief systems that still have a hold on how I relate to life and the people in it. Intense…A lot of stuff I honestly would prefer not to remember, but it feels really good to let things drop away.
For thousands of years the teachers have been preaching to us to perform austerities of all sorts and the process will make us better, more spiritual, more likeable, nicer, happier, peaceful etc.
What if they were all wrong? I mean really wrong!
What the heck is ‘spiritual’ anyways? I realize I have been believing other people’s ideas about what is ‘spiritual’ and have been for many many years, trying to live up their ideas that had become my own. All uninvestigated thoughts, just taken to be true because someone said them or wrote them down thousands of years ago. Wow! So cool when I started to investigate, really look.
What if we don’t have to fast, do yoga, meditation, be a vegetarian, have 30 years of therapy, get rid of all emotions that aren’t positive, be angelically calm and always smiling never sad, never angry, actually get rid of any kind of emotions and always be in a high state of bliss and love, have bliss and love divinely emanating from our whole being like the smell/aura of cigarette smoke around a smoker. Oh my God, I have spent thousands of hours ‘doing’ stuff I considered would ‘get me somewhere’ else other than here. The somewhere else was a better more improved so called enlightened ‘me’. I thought. There is that believed thought again!
I’ve noticed that all beliefs are just thoughts that are sticky. Something inside us, thinks the thoughts are true and turns them into beliefs. Really cool, to investigate into that stickiness itself. Check it out for yourself. What is this sticky or clingy energy?. Where is it in the body…? Who/what experiences it?
Beliefs are what cause all the wars! Has there ever been a war that wasn’t due to beliefs.
Even all the words I’ve just written here…. they can’t be believed. Good, bad, right, wrong… it seems that all beliefs whether so called positive or negative create suffering. Now the yogis use the word’attachment’. They say don’t be attached to your thoughts, feelings, people, places, basically anything…They taught people like myself that it is bad to be attached to people and things for example. For years I listened to that kind of teaching without really investigating what actually does ‘attachment’ mean. I misunderstood all these years and tried to fit myself into box of other people’s ideas….. WOW. No Blame…
Man, I think the spiritual people can become the most judgemental, repressed, raging, fundamental a..holes around. Did I write that? How unspiritual of me!
Guess ultimately I am talking about me – as ‘they’ say life is all a projection eh? Why do you think I started out on the so called spiritual path? Because I wanted to be free of all the humanness that I encountered here. Big misunderstanding…..
Why can’t we just let ourselves be as we are and let others be as they are? Uninvestigated thoughts/beliefs that’s why! How about unlearning them all…. There is the freedom under it all.
So, despite all the rambling I just did, did you figure out the big lie?
The big lie is that we have to DO ‘something’ in order to become something. Is it True?